Treasure your loved ones | Monday, August 23, 2010
A really touching story after that spooky scare. Do take ur time and read it.
By Stephanie Halmilton
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
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{5/2 signing off!} Created at 5:52:00 PM
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The other watcher | Wednesday, July 21, 2010
A man went to a hotel and walked up to the front desk to check in. The woman at the desk gave him his key and told him that on the way to his room, there was a door with no number that was locked and no one was allowed in there. Especially no one should look inside the room, under any circumstances. So he followed the instructions of the woman at the front desk, going straight to his room, and going to bed. The next night his curiosity would not leave him alone about the room with no number on the door. He walked down the hall to the door and tried the handle. Sure enough it was locked. He bent down and looked through the wide keyhole. Cold air passed through it, chilling his eye.
What he saw was a hotel bedroom, like his, and in the corner was a woman whose skin was completely white. She was leaning her head against the wall, facing away from the door. He stared in confusion for a while. He almost knocked on the door, out of curiosity, but decided not to. This disinclination saved his life. He crept away from the door and walked back to his room. The next day, he returned to the door and looked through the wide keyhole. This time, all he saw was redness. He couldn’t make anything out besides a distinct red color, unmoving. Perhaps the inhabitants of the room knew he was spying the night before, and had blocked the keyhole with something red.
At this point he decided to consult the woman at the front desk for more information. She sighed and said, "Did you look through the keyhole?" The man told her that he had and she said, "Well, I might as well tell you the story. A long time ago, a man murdered his wife in that room, and her ghost haunts it. But these people were not ordinary. They were white all over, except for their eyes, which were red."
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{5/2 signing off!} Created at 9:14:00 PM
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Multi-Tasking | Thursday, June 24, 2010
Multi-Tasking, adapted from Slaces to Multitasking by Tan Seow Hon
When I am teaching and my students are typing away on their laptops while smiling at the screen in front of them, I know that they are more likely to be on MSN than to be with me. Every few minutes, their eyes would dart up and they would nod their heads as if what I had just said needed their approval
Why do people bother to come to class if they are intent on doing a half-dozen other things at the same time- playing Solitaire, checking out MSN, e-mailing, Facebooking and writing out a last-minute answer to an assignment question they should have done weeks ago?
Our multitasking habits are a bane indeed. I can no longer have a cup of coffee without feeling as though I am contesting for time. I have dinner with Aileen while Candace calls me on my cellphone and Aileen takes the moment that I am on my phone to SMS Val, as Val feeds her daughter while working on her computer. How many times have you excused yourself to go to the restroom, only to return to a friend busy SMS-ing, and then wondered if he preferred to be elsewhere?
It is not a crazy thing to meet friends, then spend half the time on the cellphone with someone else? When I point out to friends that I have better things to do than to watch them SMS, they assure me they can multitask, not knowing that I do mind waiting - and they do not multitask well anyway. In this day, we can no longer get the full attention of people even when we meet them face to face.
Our multitasking habit creeps into other areas of life. Because we are not accustomed to concentrating on a single task for an extending period of time, books today are different in layout from the books decade ago. The young today can no longer read the good old courier font. They need a snazzy layout, headings in bold Comic Sans every few lines and cute balloon columns with fanciful bullet points. Depth of analysis is lost on this generation. What they want are bite-sized pieces of information - like how the Time-Out chocolate now comes in convenient popcorn-like pieces.
We have also lost our ability to make simple commitments. We play it by ear when we want to meet. We know we can reschedule the appointment because the other person is always contactable via the cellphone. Gone are the days when we woukd mark our diaries and expect to keep our appointments because there was no way to change them at the last minute. And whatever happened to waiting to speak with someone? A decade ago, when I wanted to call a friend, I would wait for her to get home. The waiting would allow me to process my thoughts. And when we talk, I would be sure she is not also playing with her cellphone. Now, if I am irritated with someone, I would just shoot her a rude e-mail, delete it from my trash can and pretend I have not done anything bad. Postmodern connectivity facilitates an instant torrent. I have lost the character building habit of being forced to cool down because someone I am angry with is not within target range.
With MSN, IM, ICQ, SMS and Blackberry, the line between acquaintances and friends have blurred. We find it easier to use these modes of communication than to call someone up. While we would not have contacted someone we were not so familiar with on the phone, these alternative modes facilitate superficial social contact. So we end up with breadth in our relationships but little depth.
A decade ago, I was learning how to e-mail on an ugly black screen. Eight years ago, my mom got me a pager. Growing up without postmodern connectivity, I am troubled by the different world the young grow up in. What I have mentioned are little things in themselves, but if we continue in theis way 24/7, the effect on us would be insidiously greater than we realise.
Have you not realised only too late when your computer is hit by a virus, and you lose all your e-mail addresses, that your reliance on the e-mail address function on your computer has robbed you of the ability to recall addresses? We used to remember people's telephone numbers, now we are totally dependent on our cellphone's contact list. And our reliance on the calculator means we cannot do mental sums when splitting a restaurant bill. So what else are we allowing ourselves to be robbed of?
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{5/2 signing off!} Created at 10:19:00 PM
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String Theory | Wednesday, June 23, 2010
String Theory
(Warning; high physic content, u hate physics don't read on)
Now, where did it come from?
Right about 1900-today, the quatum theory holds true for all matter. It describes how atoms (that makes us up) can act like waves under certain conditions. That itself is a momentus discovery!
Scientist then began doing all sorts of experiment which eventually make up today's quatum theory.
However, as we go into the very small; smaller then the atoms, quatum theory is just rubbish. The math disintergrated; the theory just doesn't make any sense.
In fact, atoms are made of sub-atomic particles known as quacks. And these quacks are made of something which scientist are trying to prove; strings of energy. These strings are approximated to be at 10^-12 m.
Imagine if the string theory is true. Then all matter as we know it are fragments of energy of different frequencies which difine the very nature of that matter. (E.g a Carbon atom may have strings of frenquency x while a hydrogen atom may have a frenquency y in their strings)
Now that's the theory of everything! It explains why phenomenal like the big bang could have started. In fact, string theory states that it is the collision of two stings which cause the big bang. Which means, there was something before the creation of everything.
However to prove the existence of strings, we must first find 7 new dimensions. If strings ever exist, there will be new dimensions. Today, we know there are 4 dimensions, the time dimension and space in its x, y, z direction. If string theory is true, there will be a total of 11 dimension! That's pretty pausible if we try to relate stuff like Dark matter and Dark energy.
Dark matter is a unknown substance only known with gravitational properties. We know it there by seeing how it interact with stars and galaxies. Perhaps this dark matter transverse along one of the new dimensions?
Then there's the Dark energy. Scientist discovered then the universe is actually expanding at a accelerating rate. So space itself is expanding way faster then the speed of light now. That's the only thing that travels faster than light I guess... The cause of this is really Dark energy and this would fit in nicely with another dimension. Well, 2 down 5 more to go. All the best scientist!
Note: This entry is based on what I think is true. The string theory is currently been worked by numerous scientist. If you are interested about this, search youtube for it. There's a documentary which explains it.
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{5/2 signing off!} Created at 1:02:00 PM
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A Really Mad World | Monday, March 8, 2010
Awaken by the hail the alarm clock brings, we are bought back to reality.
With almost no time for a good breakfast, we rush to where the society expects us to be and do: work, work, and more work.
That is really what is in it for most Singaporeans. It really turely is a mad world out there running a never-ending race. All of us are involved, no one is left out. Individuals cannot help but ponder who started this damn thing and before he can dig deeper, he finds out that his project is due tomorrow; exams is in one week time; bills are still unsettled; bleh bleh bleh... you name it, Singapore has it.
So, why are we all doing this for? For money? Happiness? Power? Seriously, the blind veil of democracy is high stress level. Companies compete and students follow. The economy rushes and everyone must follow; for fear of being left out. If it is for money, then one can never find enough of it. What is happiness if you're living in constant pressure... The real culprit then is surely power.
We all want the best for ourselves and what is digusting is overdoing it, resulting in power hunger. To put it blantly, democracy encourages it.
There is really nothing much we can do since democracy is seemingly the world's solution to its problems. What we can do is to embrace ourselves for the tougher future. What the youths call 'Tanking' the workload may well be the best solution for individuals. If anytime, and I am sure it will be soon, you find it stressful, just remember we all in it together.
To end this, I would like to shout,"It is a really mad world."
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{5/2 signing off!} Created at 4:58:00 PM
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| Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Owl city - Fireflies
You would not believe your eyes, If ten million fireflies. Lit up the world as I fell asleep. 'Cause they fill the open air, And leave teardrops everywhere. You think me rude, But I would just stand and stare.
I'd like to make myself believe, That Planet Earth turns slowly. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, 'Cause everything is never as it seems.
'Cause I get a thousand hugs, From ten thousand lightning bugs. As they try to teach me how to dance, A foxtrot above my head, A sockhop beneath my bed. The disco ball is just hanging by a thread (thread, thread).
I'd like to make myself believe, That Planet Earth turns slowly. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, 'Cause everything is never as it seems. Leave my door open just a crack (please take me away from here), 'Cause I feel like such an insomniac (please take me away from here). Why do I tire of counting sheep? (please take me away from here) When I'm far too tired to fall asleep.
To ten million fireflies, I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes. I got misty eyes as they said farewell (said farewell), But I know where several are. If my dreams get real bizarre, 'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar.
I'd like to make myself believe, That Planet Earth turns slowly. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, 'Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep).
I'd like to make myself believe, That Planet Earth turns slowly. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, 'Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep).
I'd like to make myself believe, That Planet Earth turns slowly. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, Because my dreams are bursting at the seams.
